The Post Wedding Blues – No One Tells You About

But they should...

Wait a second, who invited the post wedding blues to the wedding? Certainly not you! Amidst the planning, gathering, travel plans and more, there is an extremely common yet rarely talked about phenomenon we see more and more in the wedding world: post wedding depression. Brides come to us time and time again hesitantly sharing their blue feelings–seemingly embarrassed to admit them, thinking they are alone or ungrateful. But this could not be further from the truth. <3

As stated on Brides website, “Post-wedding depression is a term used to describe the feeling of anti-climax after the ceremony and the honeymoon is over and the reality or ordinariness of married life kicks in,” relationship therapist Geoff Lamb tells Brides.” So before we share our tips (and virtual hugs) on how to help combat this, we wanted to first say: You are not alone. You are not ungrateful. These feelings happen to countless couples post wedding celebrations. So alongside us, please know you have many others who understand you and are here to help.

Not The “Something Blue” Envisioned…

Whenever we chat about this with engaged brides, they often can’t believe it exists. They are still among the rose colored daydreams of their dreamy day, and cannot imagine feeling anything less. But there is science behind this. For quite a long time (especially if you are a postponed pandemic bride) you have held the spotlight with your spouse. Your wedding has been a source of hope, excitement, and reunion for all involved. There is a rush of serotonin for so long. And after just one day? It’s gone in a blink. Everyone says your wedding day goes by quickly, which is so true too. No wonder the rush of it all can leave our minds wondering what just happened.

Brides shares that, “…the word ‘depression’ is used because there is a flatness together with a lack of fulfillment or pleasure in life, which are similar to some of the symptoms used to diagnose clinical depression,” he continues. “However, unlike clinical depression, which often doesn’t have a definable cause, post-wedding depression is clearly linked with the period after the ceremony and is almost certainly something which won’t last.” Did you catch that last part? It’s almost certainly something which won’t last. <3 But while you are in the trenches of it, let’s chat you through some ways to push through.

Post Wedding Depression Help

As a bride grapples with this, what we see most often is a reach to find a why. This includes things like trying to find something that wasn’t absolutely perfect on the wedding day, and choosing to fixate on that–in turn deciding that your wedding day wasn’t good, and that’s why you feel this way. Lashing out at vendors, loved ones or worst yet; your new spouse, will most certainly cause unnecessary and additional pain to you and others. As we are all innate problem solvers, it makes complete sense why it’s a default reaction to try to find a root cause. But doing this will just cast a shadow over the amazing day you did have, and in fact prolong the blue feelings you are enduring.

To fight it? Ask family and friends to share with you their favorite moments of the day. This can be via text, FaceTime, coffee chats, voice memos, the like. Reaching out to a handful of loved ones on days you feel low will sprinkle your day with smiles and the warm feeling you did experience on your big day. Serotonin boost well on its way.

Final Essential Takeaways

• As you receive these sweet memories, we encourage you to journal them all. As well, be sure to jot down how you are feeling, too–joyful feelings and otherwise. Doing so will give you space and clarity to better sort through each feeling you experience. Don’t discard any feeling–working through and acknowledging each one is so helpful in your healing. Every single one is valid.
• KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE! This is so important. You are never alone. You are not making any of this up. This is a very real syndrome with very real difficult feelings. As your wedding vendors, our care for you does not end at the sparkler exit! We are always here to champion you, chat with you, and support you however you need. You are truly never alone.
• Give yourself time and grace to work through this. Alongside professionals or not, you just held and planned an incredible celebration for you and you best friend. Your wedding was amazing, and so are you. 
• Most importantly, know that there is help out there. For virtual options, we recommend Better Help. This can connect you with a professional therapist to further help you work through the reality that is post wedding depression. You can head there by following this link: Better Help

Want to chat with us? We are here. Ears and hearts open <3 Reach out here: Chat With Us

Sending endless hugs your way.

To view the full article on Brides, click here: Post Wedding Depression